i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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