I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
