Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
