would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
