Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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