I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
