Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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