Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize