Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
