i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
