So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
