I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
