they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I wish you could order shots online.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
