Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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