Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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