I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
