dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
