so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
