Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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