I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
