just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
