she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
