I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
