She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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