I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Are my feet made of real feet?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
