I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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