Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
