Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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