Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
