just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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