If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
