this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
