Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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