**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
