hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
