I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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