it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
