my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
