forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize