Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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