Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize