Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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