apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
