At least make sure they are 18
Why
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
