I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
