Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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