omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
