I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
