dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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