During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
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he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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