I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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