Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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