you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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