Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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