8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
