You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
