we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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