Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i need some magic done to my vagina
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
