I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
