her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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