now i know why i became what i already was.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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