wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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