Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
