I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
