if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
