Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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